“Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not.” — Ruth 2:15.
When I think about all that has happened in our life and all that God is doing I can’t help but wonder in awe at what he has down, what he has provided, what he is providing. When we feel the sting of need and provision like the Brothers of Benjamin through the drought, He allows us to glean from the crop of the field he has provided, though we do not deserve it. Why do I doubt that God is able to do these things when he has continually done them for us. Countless times God has provided for us, Jehovah-Jireh, our provider. He has allowed my family and countless others to be benefitted by his Mercy when things seem too difficult to handle. When I feel like the room is shrinking and the air is leaving my lungs to never return, it is only temporary, I pray, as long as I can recall what God has done and what he has taught me.
There are days or weeks or sometimes months where we do not know where our grain will come from, but He provides. If you have ever felt the lows of deep need, you can understand how beautiful the realization of provision from God’s hands is. I’ve struggle with depression and anxiousness, deep despair and I can tell you how tiresome it is. The thoughts that pervade my mind at those times have been dangerous.
“I am ready to give up; I am in deep despair. I lift up my hands to you in prayer; like dry ground my soul is thirsty for you.” -Psalm 143
Anxiousness and Worry hide away truth. We can have the confidence of provision for today and the strength for today. The Spirit helps us in our weakness so we may persevere. I am slow to learn this.
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
― Corrie Ten Boom
So, I know now through much stubbornness and doubt that God provides for all my needs according to his riches and glory. I am stubborn because there are times when I choose to feel pity for myself instead of believing promises I know. I am doubtful when I forget the promise and what is and has and will be done. Although I forget or choose to deny it at times, I can’t help but sing today “Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow; Praise Him, all creatures here below; Praise Him above, ye heavenly host; Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.”. I haven’t come to even start to understand this fully, what I’ve learned is not even a grain of sand in the scheme of the beginning and end and forever. I am astonished. Amazed that God is merciful and preserves me, just like the Brothers of Benjamin and Joseph who could not understand mercy bestowed, undeserved.
Not only does he provide for my physical needs, my spiritual ones that have experienced the drought of doubt and self-pity for far too long are being restored as he allows for me to come and glean from the sheaves. He calls me beloved and gives me, us access to the mystery hidden for the ages that I could not earn on my own. I am thirsty and my soul is like dry ground in need of rain. He lets me still come and drink and glean from him, because I hunger.
Ruth had no right to go among the sheaves to glean, but Boaz gave her a right to go there by saying, “Let her do it.” For her to be allowed to go amongst the sheaves, in that part of the field where the wheat was not already carted, was a special favor; but to go among the sheaves, and to have handfuls of corn dropped on purpose for her, was a further proof of the kindness of Boaz. -CH Spurgeon
Grace is a beautiful thing. Grace, Mercy and Love even more so.
Remember the Psalms when we feel the physical and spiritual drought so we that can be Satisfied.
As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng
and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,
a multitude keeping festival.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation 6 and my God.