Thank you everyone for bearing with me and still reading this after many blog issues. Hopefully I will be back at it on the reg.
So I have been thinking a lot recently about friendships. One of my most popular posts has been this one : “On Friends, it’s hard“, about how its hard to make friends, keep friends etc. especially in my season of life. I’ve been mulling on it a lot recently because of recent circumstances, and I realize that I am a horrible friend. I have always been a bad friend. Some might say “aww, not true” and some of you might shake your head vehemently in agreement. To both camps, I’m glad you are reading this. Looking The fact of the matter is I look back on my friend history and realize, yup, it’s no wonder. I have a history of being a bad friend. What I mean is that I’ve wanted the juicy parts of friendship with paving the groundwork. That means that I am a selfish person that fails at being selfless and of course that can make a give a little, get a little relationship difficult because friendship is a two-man or woman job. I honestly thought for years I was pretty decent in the friend department but I realize now, not so much. I am sinner in need of grace, and because I screw up so royally daily, can be the worst of the worst, and incredibly selfish as all get out I think I’ve screwed up a few relationships on the road.
I need Grace but also I need to learn to be a better friend. I am slowly being transformed and hopefully those meaningful relationships that I so desire will blossom out of these growing experiences. So, I say to all of you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I’ve sucked as a friend. I’m sorry if I’ve been lackadaisical or selfish. I’m sorry if I’ve caused distance or hurt, these are things that He is changing in me.